E's Sulking Corner

Divorce

A married couple is driving down the interstate doing 55 mph. The husband is behind the wheel. His wife looks over at him and says, “Honey, I know we?ve been married for 15 years, but I want a divorce.”
The husband says nothing but slowly increases the speed to 60 mph.

She then says, “I don?t want you to try to talk me out of it because I?ve been having an affair with your best friend, and he?s a better lover than you.”

Again the husband stays quiet and just speeds up as his anger increases.

She says, “I want the house.” Again the husband speeds up and he is now doing 70 mph.

She says, “I want the kids too.” The husband just keeps driving faster and faster until he reaches 80 mph.

She says, “I want the car, the checking account and all the credit cards too.” The husband slowly starts to veer toward a bridge overpass pillar, as she says, “Is there anything you want?”

The husband says, “No, I?ve got everything I need.”

She asks, “What?s that?”

The husband replies just before they hit the wall at 90 mph, “I?ve got the airbag!”

All Smiles

Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on their faces. The coroner calls the police to tell them what has happened.

“First body: Frenchman, 60, died of heart failure while making love to
his mistress. Hence the enormous smile, Inspector”, says the Coroner.

“Second body: “Scotsman, 25, won a thousand dollars on the lottery,
spent it all on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile.”

The Inspector asked, “What of the third body?”

“Ah,” says the coroner, “this is the most unusual one.
Sue-Ellen, a blond from Oklahoma, 30, struck by lightning.”

“Why is she smiling then?” inquires the Inspector.

“Thought she was having her picture taken.”